And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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