love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
