Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
