What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
