My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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