I just cut my nipple shaving
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
