oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
