you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
