After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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