He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
