i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
