ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
