He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
