Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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