Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
