it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
i believe in u and ur pee
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
