How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just had sex on a roof
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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