We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
