I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
