so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
