Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize