Why are handjobs necessary in class?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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