What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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