how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My vagina is officially offended.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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