1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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