She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
