just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
