Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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