Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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