Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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