my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
