I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
