covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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