whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
