He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
i out mim tonsoeep
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