i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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