I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
