Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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