he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
