so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
