i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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