your thong is hanging out like whoa
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
