either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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