dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
