How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
We talked him into tasing himself.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
