Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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