i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
