we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
