well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
