Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
