Yo dont text me then not text me
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
