did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Randomize
