I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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