oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We have started to decorate penises.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
